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Magda
Magda
I was eight or nine the day I was circumcised. We lived in a house where we shared a toilet with five other families, and each family had a room where we ate and slept. But that morning all the mothers had gathered in one room, to help the midwife.

“I have never accepted that I’ve been circumcised, because it causes me so much pain. It’s very hard for me to have sex. It hurts. Every time.”


Name:
Magda Nagiub Wahba
Age: 38

I was happy that day! I didn’t know what was going to happen to me, just that a girl who had been circumcised got new clothes and special food to celebrate.  And I wanted that. I had never had anything new to wear before, everything I had was hand-me-downs.
I remember the pain. And screaming: Mummy, stop!

I remember the pain. And screaming: Mummy, stop!

Then I bled for fifteen days and my parents put ground coffee in the wound. My mother said it was my fault that I didn’t heal like the others did and was a nuisance, but I was still quite happy, because I was allowed to stay in bed and got lots of attention. Nobody really cared about me otherwise.

A few evenings later all the girls gathered together in the moonlight, because there were several of us who had been circumcised on the same day, and it was time to go to the Nile and throw away the bits. We had small cloth parcels with us inside which we had tied the small pieces which had been cut out of our bodies. I was happy that evening too, because I was usually not allowed to walk in the water. Now we all sat there together in the river and knew that we would have children sometime in the future. Now we were real women.

My husband is my cousin. I had never worn lipstick or tried to make myself look beautiful before we were married, but I saw that he looked at me in a special way. “I can see that you like me,” I said. He answered, “Yes, but I can’t afford to buy any gold.”

But I didn’t care. I liked him. We were engaged for a year before we got married, and then we still didn’t know anything about sex. Anything at all!  I was 23 and my husband was 27. The day after the wedding, my sister-in-law came to visit and asked how it had gone. We told her nothing had happened. She sat down with us and explained step by step what we should do. Of course, she thought her brother already knew!

That’s why it’s so important to get the message across to the young men, to begin to tell them that women have a right to pleasure.

We have two sons now and I’m very happily married. My husband keeps me calm, and he gives me the freedom to choose how I want to look and what clothes I want to wear. He does the shopping and the cooking and raises the children. He is my friend.  He’s a very good, kind man. He’s given me back everything that was taken from me. I love him so much! But I have never accepted the fact that I’ve been circumcised, because it causes me so much pain. It is so hard for me to have sex. The wound which healed where the bits had been cut out is so big that the area around it becomes inflamed easily.  It hurts. Every time.  And the glands which should produce fluids are damaged. Injuries like these are common among women who have been circumcised. So the men have a great responsibility, to be gentle, and my husband does his best. But most men don’t think like that, and they don’t show any consideration, they just think of their own pleasure.
That’s why it’s so important to get the message across to the young men, to begin to tell them that women have a right to pleasure.